5 Years

March 25, 2010, Spike's adoption was completed in Armenia.  I wasn't physically present.  My husband and mother were actually the travelers.  It was hard to be at home while it was happening, but the sting of feeling left out of that important moment has predictably faded over time.

We could not have known how difficult that first year would be.  For months, he was no more attached to us than any other people on the planet.  How could he be?  The behaviors that stemmed from the lack of attachment and from 7.5 years of living without parents to guide him were tough, tough, tough for our family.  But, with much prayer and perseverence, we got through.  

I remember feeling a huge shift in adjustment at the one year mark.  Things got much easier at that point.  I don't know if the change was in him or me, but it was very real.  

Is everybody 100 percent in harmony now?  Of course not.  But we are adjusted.  We are miles down the road from where we started.  Every day is new.  Every day has it's own challenges.  But when I think back over the amount of personal development for him, for us, it's astounding.  

Adopting an older child, in our experience, is not for the faint of heart.  The adoption process itself is long and painful.  Then you bring your child home, and the real work begins.  But, its worth it.  The best things we do in this life, the most important things to which God calls us, are rarely easy.  

I watch Crash interact and play with Spike every day.  Crash often calls his name first thing in the morning.  He can't wait to play.  They are brothers.  Crash will never remember anything different.  The other kids, too, in spite of the struggles that inevitably occur, have a true sibling - with all the ups and downs that relationship implies.  

As Spike matures, he asks harder questions about his early life.  We answer with as much honesty as we can.  It's hard to see him struggle to understand.  He has fond memories of his orphanage and the dear Sisters there, but he realizes more and more all the time that that situation was not a normal or ideal one.  We grieve for his early years, which we missed as a family.  I always tell him that if I had known he was being born, I would have been there right away.  This consoles him a little, I think.  

Every Mass, I beg God to heal his psychological wounds.  And, slowly, my prayers are being answered.  God hears us, always.  His body is disabled physically.  But the inner hardships are the greatest challenges.  

On May 25, we celebrated what we call his 'American anniversary' with hamburgers and French fries at his request.  It was a good day.  He really is a lover of things American - The NFL, NBA, March Madness, movies, baseball games, hamburgers.  He loves Indian food, too.  

And now we're back to the work, for each of us, of being the best mother, father, sister, brother, son, daughter, spouse we can be to each other.  That's all we're meant to do.

Cousins at Easter

Brothers

 

favorite thing on Earth: playing basketball with his cousin

Kids and Spring

I think I have a pretty high tolerance for dirt and messes.  However, sometimes, I have neither the time nor energy to clean up one more thing.  This week, we're preparing for a First Communion, a big ballet performance, and a big trek to Wyoming.  So, I asked kids number 3 and 4 (the messiest ones:) to please avoid mud.  Accidents are one thing, but deliberately seeking out wet ground is quite another.  We ended up with this:

Not too terrible, but when I asked whether they had forgotten my request, they were stunned that I had been referring to all body parts, including feet.  Anyway,  today was so beautiful.  It begged to be documented, even though my to-do list is loooong.

 Kid 118 found another loophole in my 'avoid mud' legislation.  If you put mud in a bucket, and stir it up with a stick, surely that doesn't count, right?

Saturday was rainy, cold, gloomy... But, today!  Look at that gorgeous blue sky!  (And that cutie-pie almost-3-yr-old!)

If you could offer a prayer for yo-yo this week,we would be most grateful.  She'll be receiving her First Holy Communion one week from today. We're also praying for safe travel for friends and family coming in for the big day.

Have a great week!

Confirmed in the Holy Spirit

 

 

What a beautiful night!  Our dear bishop came to our little parish and confirmed 19 8th graders on Tuesday evening.  The kids were prepared, poised, and radiant.  The bishop gave an fantastic homily which included the line, "We don't need any more lukewarm Catholics!"  Awesome.  Father/Uncle Earl concelebrated the Mass.  What a treat!!!

 

Joy chose Blessed Chiara Badano as her confirmation name and patron saint, and her sweet cousin as her sponsor.  All grandparents, two uncles, 4 cousins, a best buddy (and her mom) were all in attendance.   It was joyful, fun, and a great celebration of this important sacrament. 

 

Thanks, everybody, for going out of your way to join us and to make the night extra-special for Joy!!!

All in a Week's Work

March 24:  the annual Homeschool World Geography Fair

 

 

 

Thanks for coming, Grandma!

March 25: Spike's 5-year Adoption Anniversary (we had the real party on March 15)

 

 




 March 26-27:  The usual business of life

van selfie by Joy

photo by some short person, found on my phone

 

March 28:  Road trip to see IU's Spring Ballet - me plus 6 kids for 6 hours in the van.  Kudos to Grandma and Pada for keeping track of Crash in the morning.

 

March 29:  Church, housekeeping, holding down the fort while Daddy continues to plow through his 18-day stretch of work.  When everybody else goes on spring break... you know how it goes...

 

March 30:  I sneak out for a haircut!  No time to dry (off to pick up Kid118 from his taekwondo camp), so it's the curly, windswept look for a day.  Saw Cinderella with the girls Monday night.  Awesome. 

 

 



 

 

 

 

March 31:  our annual Shakespeare production (greatly abridged from the original).  This year, the kids performed "A Midsummer Night's Dream."  Success!!  As per custom, the event was held in our basement.

 

 

goofy, blurry cast photo

 earlier that day...  drove Spike to a wheelchair basketball demonstration at a (somewhat) local high school.  Kids and teachers from the school volunteered to play against the team.  Fun.

 

 

April 1: We crashed.  Just kidding.  The weather was amazing, so outdoors we went.  After a nap, that is...

 

 

 

Enjoy the rest of Holy Week.  We hope you and yours have a blessed Easter weekend.